4th of July: a mere 16 days away!

In honor of my favorite holiday, I will share a story I found in the Darwin Awards. I promise I will not attempt to do this stunt, Mom. Do not worry. However, I can promise that my fireworks extravaganza will be fantabulous. Unfortunately, due to circumstances beyond my control, it is a private party and none of you can be invited. I do apologize. Just know this: I rock at blowing shit up.

At a party somewhere between Nashville and Bloomington, a young man was drinking and watching people set off fireworks. Suddenly a great idea occurred to him. He could improve upon this amateur fireworks display! He put down his drink and set to work.When it comes to fireworks, your brain can't be much safer than sheltered inside a football helmet. He found an old helmet, duct-taped a mortar-style firework to the top, put it on his head, and lit the fuse...A bright flash of light nearly blinded observers. When their eyes recovered, they saw him lying on the ground, unconscious and bleeding. Astoundingly, the 21-year-old survived this party stunt with only a mild concussion and burns. His helmet, however, was blown to pieces.

A motorcycle post (of sorts)!

Finally, a small post about motorcycling. No, not a detail of a trip, I did no riding this past weekend (which, by the way, is really starting to SUCK). But, something I came across while researching a Patron Saint for a family that I met with today. Enjoy the history lesson (I especially like the prayer at the end):

The Patron Saint of motorcyclists and the bikes they rode in on is Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal, otherwise known as, Our Lady of Grace. In 1830 in a convent in Paris, Our Lady appeared to St. Catherine Laboure. Our Lady asked St. Catherine to make a medal and showed St. Catherine a picture of exactly how the medal should look. In essence, then, this medal is a self portrait of Mary. The medal was an instant hit and earned it's name. So many people who wore the medal had miracles happen to them that the medal came to be known as the "Miraculous Medal". No one is sure how the Miraculous Medal came to be the protection of bikers. An obvious guess is that if you have an accident on a bike, it's a miracle if you survive.

Another Patron Saint dealing with transportation: Mother Frances Cabrini, Italian immigrant and builder of orphanages, schools and hospitals in major cities of America, once hitched a ride in a limo. She told the rich woman (who gave her a lift) of a dream she had had the night before of an orphanage on yonder hill. When the rich woman dropped off Mother Cabrini at the convent, the rich woman asked for a glass of water. The woman told Mother Cabrini that for the glass of water she would donate the hill....since she owned the property. Mother Cabrini getting a ride to exactly where she really wanted to go has earned her the patronage of keeping your vehicle moving. Prayer for the intercession of Mother Cabrini: "Mother Cabrini, put down your liguini, look down from heaven and fix my machini."

Another unique casket

Nice.

This story was in the news about a month ago. It got me to thinking about interesting burials I've had over the years. Although I've had many, many interesting services, I can't recall any that had a custom casket, except for the one that was a plain, pine coffin. A young lady was killed in an auto accident and her family asked her friends to write messages on it with a sharpie pen. It was a lot like signing a yearbook and it seemed to be very therapeutic for the other kids.

As for me, I used to think I wanted to be cremated and pumped into a basketball (I was 17). Not anymore. I'm not down with the cremation. It's fine for others, but I can't stand the thought of burning. So, I recently purchased a nice corner lot at the cemetery across the street from the funeral home. Interestingly enough, this is in one of the oldest sections of the cemetery. Another interesting point is that it is, shall I say, used. No, the previous tenants aren't still there. Their families had enough money to disinter them, buy new vaults and move them to the lakeside property located approximately 200 yards away (why not leave people to rest in peace?). So, it was a great location and a great price. Especially since I received 50% off for being an employee. That translates into $47.66 per month for the next 5 years. Hopefully, my adventures on the road won't cause me to use it any earlier. But, hell, that's why I have insurance, right?

Survey says....

The NFDA (National Funeral Directors Association) has released an article about the demographics of future funeral directors. I was not surprised at what they have reported: the number of female students has increased 71% since 1996. Women now represent 60% of currently enrolled mortuary students. When I graduated from mortuary school in 1997, women were definitely in the minority.

It was difficult those first few years to get families to trust that a female could direct a funeral just as well as a male, not to mention the way some ministers felt about us. Oklahoma is not really a progressive state. It was a man's profession. Not anymore. Out of the 30 or so directors working for our company in OKC, I would say that 85% are female. Ministers are finally used to us. In fact, they typically look at me first now, and not at the 70 year old male limo driver.

Looks like we made it!

PS, I finally scored a tshirt I've been wanting for ages. My birthday was last week and my twin sister got me the one (from Undergroundhumor.com) that says "Have you hugged your funeral director today?" Right on. The Moose, she rocks! So, peeps, go on out and hug your funeral directors today. We aren't that creepy....

pic of Me and Tracy: Funeral Directors Extraordinaire!

Designer of Pringles carton buried in crisp tube.

Dr Fredric J. Baur, who was 89, had told his family to ensure his final resting place was the inside of one of his most famous creations.
They honored his request by having his ashes buried in a Pringles tube – and a more conventional urn for the overflow – at Arlington Memorial Gardens in Cincinnati, Ohio.
Dr Baur, who was a retired chemist and food storage technician at Pringles owners Procter and Gamble, patented the design for the saddle-shaped crisp’s vertical container in 1970.
His daughter Linda told the Cincinatti Enquirer that the packaging was his “proudest accomplishment.”
He also invented several other products, including a freeze-dried ice cream, which didn’t enjoy as much success.
His son Lawrence Baur told the Enquirer: “Basically, what you did, you added milk to it, put it in the freezer and you had ice cream. That was another one he was proud of but just never went anywhere.”

Trip to Davis, Oklahoma

Saturday we took a trip with some friends to Davis, Oklahoma. Davis is in the southern part of the state near the Arbuckle Mountains. There were eleven bikes and 14 riders. The trip there was long, and hot. About 3 1/2 hours, and 94 degrees. I'm so smart that I didn't put sunscreen on until we got to the lake. Very good. We stopped at Nat and Kelly's lake house and grilled chicken and hot dogs. The lake is very beautiful, and unfortunately, I didn't take any pictures of it. On the way home, we decided to hit I-35 and get home a little sooner. It wasn't too crowded and was actually a nice ride. Except for the hot asphalt and my sunburn. All in all it was a good weekend ride.

It was the only riding I got to do on my week off. I have really been neglecting the farm since all of this motorcycling business got started and it was time to do some much needed work. The good news is, it's mostly in shape now. That means on my next weekend off, I'll be able to ride! Yea!